It's a little wet out here!

This morning I happened to mention to Dana that being from New Mexico I had never seen a flood. So he took me for a short drive down Highway 24. I thought I 'd share these photo's from our drive just 40 miles west to Brunswick, MO.

Water approaching the road - still hasn't crested.
Pecan Orchard.
The river has risen over its banks and flooding parts of Brunswick, MO.
Railroad bridge normal very high above a small creek.
Flooded farmlands - this corn is between 4 and 5 feet tall when not covered with water.

Gate with Yellow Iris

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This 11x14 inch oil on stretched canvas is reflective of common scenes from home (yes I am still homesick). Massive adobe walls covered with wonderful stucco provide the framework for massive wooden gates. Weathered by time and the elements, the gates have so much personality. I have to confess and say that this particular gate is taken from a photograph I took of the old church in Truchas, NM.

Anyone who has ever been to New Mexico will understand that the adobe wall longs for the companionship of a hollyhock. And irises, well they are the true symbol of endurance in the rough dry landscape.

Happy Birthday to me!

Today was my birthday - I woke up thinking that I almost missed this one, but I didn't -
Today was a great birthday, I saw my Doctor and he says I'm doing great and I get to go back to work soon and I'm very happy about that.

One more time...

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I like this much better, and its much closer to the original chapel built by don Celso Baca to honor his mother. Although I couldn't determine an exact date that the chapel was build, Celso Baca is credited for founding Santa Rosa (New Mexico) after he settled int he area in the early 1860's. Unfortunately this little gem has succumbed to the elements. It's remaining walls can still be viewed on State Highway 91 that winds through Santa Rosa on it's way to Puerto de Luna.
This photo dates back to about 1930

Details of the brushstrokes used to render the church.
So, did I save it? I think so - I love it.

Moment's of Genius...but only moments

So I was working on this painting and thought I was nearing the finish line when I took a very good look at it.
Nope! No cigar!

I love the church. It was my moment of genius. My strong artistic moment. I also like the Poplar Trees. But that's it. So it will be back to the easel tomorrow to paint over the foreground. It's just wrong - not speaking the same language as the rest of the painting.

How does this happen to me? Do I get tired, too hot, hungry? Why do I have moments where it's all clicking and then it's like I just go brain dead -

Just Because...

A tiny little exercise with surprise results -

This was an experiment on a little 4x5 inch canvas board. I painted the entire board that "cloud red" color and then worked backwards to cut the sky back in around it. Maybe you guys have been doing it that way all along but it was new to me. I loved the results. Its also the way I did the sky scape on my last painting of Nuestra de Senora Refugio, the one with the massive thunderhead cloud. Then I quickly blocked in some mesas to establish proportion. This was very quick and lots of fun.

First trip back into the studio.

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Click to Bid

Well, here it is....my first painting after my heart attack. A pale attempt but at least I did it. I climbed the stairs to my studio (with my Doctor's permission) and had to sit and rest for a while. I was too tired (maybe lazy) to find a picture to work from or worse yet set up a still life so I just dipped my brush and winged it...making it up as I went along.

An Apple a Day

I had every intention of going back into the studio and doing some painting but was hit with a very sudden wave of exhaustion. So with your forgiveness I'll post an old study from the past.

I saw the doctor yesterday, they say I'm doing well on all my new meds - man, there are so many, it seems my entire day is made up of swallowing pills.

Its such a bizarre feeling to not have the control of your health and body that I always took for granted. After yesterday's doctor's visit I woke up this morning feeling good and thinking that today would be the day that my new life would really take off. A little over ambitious I guess, I was back in bed right after lunch.

I know my strength will return but I'm at an uncomfortable crossroads - I'm still too weak to do much but have recovered enough to be getting very bored.

This has been a very long week not including the 30 minutes I was clinically dead.

Some of you may be wondering where I have been. You're never going to believe this story.

I had to attend a job related conference in Rendondo Beach, Californian April 16th and 17th. As many of you know, I don't fly. It freaks me out. For the first year of my employment with my current company they accommodated my fear of flying. That ended last fall when they made me go to San Antonio. And now recently I had to fly into LAX.

The trip home was extremely stressful. We had to leave the conference during the afternoon break (2:45pm) in order to catch our flight to Denver where we would change planes. As we disembarked our first flight we heard them announce the final boarding call for our connecting flight. We were at gate 21 and the departing flight was at Gate 42 so with luggage in hand we hoofed it to catch the next plane and fly into Kansas City. We landed a little after 11 pm, looked for our vehicle in a dark deserted parking lot and finally got on the road about midnight where we would then begin our two + hour drive home in a rain and thunderstorm to C0lumbia. Stopping briefly to grab something to eat in Blue Springs as we had not eaten since lunch earlier that day. It was well after 3am when we arrived in Columbia and I still had a 45 minute drive home to Moberly. I got into bed at 4:15am and had settled in just in time for our 5.2 earthquake at 4:35am.

This brings me up to 4:35 Friday morning. I didn't go back into work that Friday although I had been told that I was expected but could wait until noon since I had "a late night".

Now here's where it gets interesting....

Saturday (April 19th) evening about 6pm I was sitting here at my desk and working at my computer when all of a sudden it felt like someone had sat a cinder block on my chest. No pain, no sweating, no racing heartbeat - just as this strange sensation of weight. I went outside and told Dana that I thought I needed to go to the hospital...

We got to the emergency room and although it was Saturday night there wasn't anyone in the waiting room. I walked right in, went through the triage where they add insult to injury by weighing you , and was put in a gown and sat on a bed. Dana sat down in the chair along the wall. The doctor came in and introduced himself to me and asked me to sit forward so he listen to my heart and lungs. When I did I said, "wow - I'm having a really bad dizzy spell." And that was it!

The next thing I was aware of was waking up in Columbia Missouri, tied to a bed on a ventilator. I could hear people around me talking and saying I was waking up and Dana came to my side and asked me if I knew where I was? I shook my head no and he proceeded to tell me that I had suffered massive heart failure.

I don't remember anything significant here's what I have been told. Although the signs started at home, it was when I sat up and complained of a dizzy spell my heart had stopped. They doctor told me that I has "dead" for over thirty minutes. They did constant CPR , and I have the broken ribs to prove it, shocked me with the paddles three times and still couldn't bring me back. Dana had left the room to give them all space to work in , he tells me there were over a dozen people in that room trying to keep me alive. The doctor gave up and sent the nurse to bring Dana in to say goodbye and they tell me that although it defies reason, the minutes he stepped into the room and I heard his voice a nurse yelled out, "WE'VE GOT A PULSE!"

After being stabilized I was air - lifted to Boone Hospital Center in Columbia where by the time Dana and twenty or so other friends and family arrived I was undergoing surgery to have a stent inserted to repair an artery that was 85% blocked.

The rest, as they say, is history.

I'm doing well, moving slow, lots of pain from the CPR but it beats the alternative. The doctor says I can't do anything for several weeks and then I can begin Cardio - Rehab. Back to work way down the road, way down. Doctor "Cutie Patootie" (he really is) says it will be six months to a year before I'm completely done with my recovery.

Now to answer the $64K question. No, I didn't see a light. And thanks to God my heart stopped in the hospital so I never had a drop in circulation consequently there is no brain damage (that was the phrase that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up). And no, I didn't see Andrew - its a good thing, I would have stayed.

I told someone recently that my heart quit beating 18 months ago, it just had to have a heart attack and die for anyone to notice. For the last 18 months I have repeatedly said I wanted to go and be with Andrew, but when my time came....I didn't go.....

I will spend the rest of my life figuring out why. I know this is that life changing moment that everyone talks about, or one of many in my case. But you know as well as I do that I have some work to do now.

Recovery work, spiritual work and creative work. My clock stopped ticking and someone hit the snooze button and got me some more time. But its no time to sleep - there's work to be done.

Blah in Moonlight

I really like this tree. Really I do. What I don't like is the rest of the canvas. At first I had a crazy notion to put in these flowers (see photo below)...what was I thinking? Then I took them out. Better but lacking. I'm stalled - I haven't got a clue where to go from here. Still, I like the tree.

I'm headed to California for a conference - maybe the west coast air will blow out the cobwebs. Later -

A little something for fun

Evening Rain

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10x20 inch oil on stretched canvas. This is painting of a wonderful thunderhead cloud looming over the Puerto de Luna valley (New Mexico of course). You can see the beautiful Nuestra Senora de Refugio Church in the distance.

I had a blast with this sky scape - which is what the painting is about. I learned a lot from this painting and hope to do more skies in the future.

Click to Bid!

The Cream Pitcher

Click here for eBay link

Now here's a little story....about a year or so I did this painting of the cream pitcher and it was on a horrible brown background and I was so unhappy with the piece that I tossed it in my slush pile and wrote off my effort as "a valuable practice session" - valuable in teaching me what not to do!

Then last weekend I was working on a piece that I needed to let dry and glancing at the clock I knew I didn't have time to really get a decent start on a new piece before we had to leave to meet friends for dinner but I still wanted to paint so I grabbed this little guy out of the slush (more like sludge) pile and decided to repaint the background a darker - richer color to see if there was any hope. Once I did that I liked the painting a whole lot more.

But then I realized my biggest problem was my bad planning when it came to the position of the subject matter. I knew I needed to balance the canvas so I decided to try my hand at a piece of glass - specifically a mason jar just for fun. I loved it - now I could be hooked on glass - hum...glass jars stuck in Chamisa bushes...what do you think? Ha!

It was so much fun and a great exercise. I intend to do more so stay tuned - Cara

Chamisa - More of the same

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I love this little painting! I had to show it to you again, this time in a frame. I've also included a close up of the details.

Chamisa Study

8 x10 oil on panel. For some reason I have become obsessed with Chamisa bushes. Probably because I'm so homesick and Chamisa reminds me of home. This painting is being offered on eBay.

Click to Bid

Nuestra Senora de Refugio

More photo manipulations - I think I'm hooked!

Electric Church

I've been doing a little playing around with my photo's from vacation ...tell me what you think....

Abandon Sunset

Today I was in my studio looking for a reference for clouds (yes guys, I'm painting today - yea!) and I ran across this old picture that I took in the early 1980's. It was in the New Mexico State Fair Amature Photography exhibit too.

I thought I'd post it - this sunset was shot through an adobe wall of a long ago abandoned building in El Cerro , New Mexico.

Puerto de Luna (8x10 inches)

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This is my very first painting on a panel as opposed to canvas. The surface was challenging to me ay first but after it was all said and done I think I like it.

This is a scene from Puerto de Luna of the south side of the church - I love all of the old abandoned buildings in this area.

This painting is currently being offered for auction on eBay and I would gladly put up a link if I only knew how...

2/24/08 Update: My dear friend Lilli from BookBabie has taught me how to make the eBay link - it was so easy once she told me how. A million Thank You's Lilli!

Click to Bid

Stolen Painting!

Thought you might enjoy seeing an old painting I did from an old photo from my home town of Santa Rosa, New Mexico. When I finished the painting an aquaintance asked if he could hang it in his business and I agreed. Next thing I knew the business was closed and he and my painting were no where to be found. Oh well, live and learn I guess.

Sunflower

Just playing around with a photo I took when I was home.

"Poppy"

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Are you surprised?

Dear friends - for some reason, I can't quite say why, it was very hard for me to step back up to my easel. So many of you have been so wonderful to drop me little messages of encouragement. Several nights ago I called my sister LaVonne and the last thing she said to me was "Get into that studio and straighten it up so you can start painting again."

Normally I never do what I'm told. As a matter of fact I usually do the exact opposite just to be difficult. But for some reason I did exactly as I was told. I went to my studio which had turned into some kinds of disastrous "catch all" over several months. (I swear I think I saw a FEMA business card stuck in the door.)

Then last night I took myself into the studio with the intent to prime a canvas and stopped to consider my limited selection of acrylic paints. I don't care too much for acrylics, they dry too fast and my talent tends to be the slow and reworked kind. But I was in the mood for something...I didn't know what...and I wanted to feel that illusive feeling of "completion" (you all know what I mean - its that feeling you get when you're ready to wash out your brushes) So I did a very small and very quick poppy. a red poppy.

I was out of practice and felt clumsy and stiff - but it did feel good.

So here it is, thanks to all of you who have written, questioned, suggested, implied and down right ordered me to get back to work. I love you all!

My favorite photo of the church

Nuestra Senora de Refugio

The beautiful Nuestra Senora de Refugio Church in Puerto de Luna, NM

Nuestra Senora de Refugio Sunset - Puerto de luna, New Mexico

This is another wonderful New Mexico Sunset.
I know, I know - I've been really bad because I haven't been painting...hope this makes up for it a little. October was harder on me than I thought, those of you that read my other blog "The Zen of Paco" will understand.

The Last Sunflowers of the Season

While touring New Mexico we took a trip up to Tres Ritos, New Mexico where as children our father had taken us for vacations. A little further north, and about 25 degrees colder, we arrived at Sipapu Ski Lodge. The ski lodge is the oldest in northern New Mexico and is about 22 miles NE of Taos.

I remember that over 40 years ago this ski lodge had a small roller skating rink where our parents would take up to burn off excess energy. I distinctly remember my two older sisters, ages 15 and 17, performing a dance routine for the crowd to the music of the Venture's "Tequila".

There is no more skating rink there now...that performance may be why...

But this day we were freezing and paid dearly for tiny cups of coffee and walked around remembering those old days with fondness.

Next to the cash register there were these sunflowers. Too beautiful to be over looked.

Rio Grande Gorge

While in Taos we visited the Rio Grande Gorge. Its so amazing. As you can see you're riding along fairly flat terrain when suddenly you find yourself crossing a bridge over an incredible crevice.

We listened for the infamous "Taos hum" but all we heard was the beating of our hearts, the song of the wind and the screeching of my sister as a heavy truck passed over the bridge causing us to bounce slightly and causing her to proclaim she wasn't going another step.

The views both north and south are phenomenal. Its only fitting that this awesome treasure is tucked away up the Taos area.

This last photo was one I manipulated digitally so it would resemble an old linen postcard. Enjoy, we sure did!

Hope this makes up for my absence!

BEAUTIFUL NEW MEXICO SUNSET - ROAD TO PUERTO DE LUNA, NEW MEXICO

Sorry I haven't posted for so long. I have been on an extended vacation to my home state of New Mexico. I was there for several weeks, took over 300 photos and came back with tons of reference material and fresh motivation. Ready to begin again. I love New Mexico! I want to return so please send all your prayers and good thoughts my direction in support of returning to The Land of Enchantment.

In The Garden

I loved this painting!